Heartbreaking Night.

We soooo badly want to sleep! Last night we tried crying it out. We did it once when Izzy was about 6 months old, and it worked great. Cried for about 45 minutes, then started sleeping through the night again. But about a month or two ago, he started waking earlier and earlier, and we kept bringing him to bed with us, and he's a smart little devil, so he kept pushing the time back further and further. The breaking point was the night before last, when he got me up at 1:00 a.m. I tried until 2:00 to get him back to sleep, then gave in and brought him to bed with us.

Now, no one sleeps good when we're all together. I LOVE it when he cuddles up against me. That's a pretty wonderful feeling. But he's hot natured, as are Chris and I, so invariably, he'll start fussing off and on.

Chris started putting him down at about 9:30, and they both fell asleep, so I came in at 9:45, brushed his teeth, and put Izzy in his crib. He woke up, as usual, and the screaming began. And continued until nearly 11:00!!! It was excruciating for all of us. Chris and I kept checking on him, first every five minutes, then 10, then 15. At 10:45, I went in and laid him back down - he stands up to scream his head off, and then it wasn't five minutes later that everything got silent.

"Give him five minutes before you go in," Chris said, trying to give him time to settle down. But I was afraid that he was choking or something, so in I crept. At the doorway to the nursery I see that it still looks like he's standing, so I flip on the hall light. That poor baby has his arms hung over the edges of his crib, his head laying on the crib rail, and he's sound asleep. Nearly killed me. I motioned for Chris, and he peeked around the doorway, and ran for the camera, but then Izzy awakened. I couldn't handle his cries anymore, so I laid down in the floor beside the crib and put my hands through for him to hold while he drifted off. Didn't take him two minutes then. He held my hands so tight. That's doubly heartbreaking, for not only was I torn that he wanted to be near me so bad while I was trying to teach him self-reliance, but I was also sad because it won't be long at all until he won't want to hold my hand anymore.