Why Chris thinks I have it so easy.

A little teeny part of my husband truly believes that I spend my leisure-filled days lounging about eating bon-bons. Heck, most non-SAHM's probably think the same. But let me tell you about my day today.

Let's start at midnight, which is the time I finally got my water-starving sponge to sleep. I don't know if he's discovered a new way to not get in trouble for getting up, or if he was truly dry as the desert last night. Honestly, the kid had six+ glasses of water between 10:30 and midnight. Anyhoo, I went to sleep fairly easily and stayed there until 3:00, when Sophie's tummy growled. That took about 45 minutes, and I was out then until about 6:30, when Izzy cried out. I'm guessing that Chris put him there before he went to work. I roll over and curl up with him... until 7:00, when Sophie is hungry again. This time she's feeling perky, but since Izzy is still asleep we both doze off again a little after 8:00. At 9:00, Izzy wakes me up by poking out the different features of my face as he names them off. We cuddle for a few minutes, until I notice that he's peed through his pj's. No surprise there, considering how much water he took in last night.

This is the first trip to the potty. Izzy screams and carries on like I'm beating him, when all I do is ask him if he needs to go pee-pee. New pull-up, and we're off to breakfast.

I mix up a delicious medley of Gerber cereal and Cheerios and Izzy eats while I eat my cereal and nurse my starving baby. In the process, he spills cereal all over the table. He's disgusted at the mess and stands up in his chair, when I see he's peed again. "You're not supposed to pee-pee in your pants," I tell him. "You go pee-pee in the potty." So he rips off his pull-up and runs to the living room. I clean off the table and follow, to find him astride the back of our couch, buck-naked and having a great time. I explain to him how disgusting this is while I'm taking him to the bathroom. This time we have pee-pee, so I do the pee-pee song and dance.

I put Sophie in her cradle, pull it in front of the bathroom door and Izzy and I hop in. This is fairly uneventful until he stomps on my broken/stoved pinky toe. But we get clean and I tell Izzy to sit on the potty again. It's his normal poopy time, and his flatulence has reminded me of this fact. He complies for a minute or two, then he starts screaming, "Down! Down!" This either means down or, as in this case, pick me up NOW. So I pick him up, push the cradle back into the bedroom, put him on the bed and go to get his pull-up and some clothes.

He's dressed, watching Dora, and I get myself and Sophie dressed. I walk out of the nursery and go to wash the pee-soaked bed linens. Izzy runs through the house and meets me in the laundry room wearing only a shirt. The scent wafting off his derriere tells me to immediately take him by the hand and track down the wayward pull-up. We find it in my bedroom, and I take him back to the bathroom where I dump the poop and tell him that's where it goes, not in his pants. Then I get him cleaned up and into another pull-up.

Next we need a yogurt fix, whence he commences pouring down his shirt and shorts. He is again disgusted at the mess, so I take them off him. Next thing I know, he's ripped off yet ANOTHER pull-up. He's sitting on his chair naked as a jay bird, and I hear myself say, "We do not sit naked at the dinner table." This one is at least dry - but that's about 50 cents down the drain. He runs through the house while I santize his chair, and he once again climbs up on the back of the couch. Little freak.

After a while, I prepare lunch. I chop up carrots, tomatoes, grapes, and I make us both a sandwich. He eats a couple of grapes and then starts carrying on, so I pick him up and tell him he can finish his lunch after he naps, and he nods his head yes. Then I do the 15-minute you-really-truly-have-to-nap-tango, and finally he's down. That's when Deltie decides to finish off his lunch, which he probably wouldn't have eaten anyhow.

All is quiet, which is Sophie's cue to eat. This is when life actually resembles the imaginary life of a SAHM. I nurse her, then she curls up on my chest and I doze off for about a half hour. It was so nice - only the second nap I've taken since she came home. I awaken to Izzy screaming in the hall way. He always wakes up from a nap terribly unhappy. He climbs up on the couch with us, and we cuddle up and relax for a few more minutes. It was so nice.

He then goes downstairs to his playroom, and I try to tidy up. I notice ominous silence - moms, you know what I mean - and I ask him what he's doing. He looks guilty, so I go downstairs, and once again, he's standing clad only in a shirt, with a poopy diaper and his shorts by his feet. We do the drill again: poop in potty, cleaned up bottom, new pull-up.

We head to the living room, and Izzy starts playing with his toys so I sat down to start typing this out. It was about 3:30 then - it's now 11:15, and I'm still trying to finish it. We take a break for our afternoon snack, rice pudding and Doritos (yeah, I know). He still doesn't want to eat, so he takes off once again. The dogs need out, so we go downstairs. I curl up to nurse Sophie and he's playing away, when he gets behind his swing set. I ask him if he's pooping AGAIN, and he says no, but he did. I finish nursing Sophie and we head upstairs again. This time, I am too pooped to take him to the potty, so I just change his pull-up with no fanfare. (That pun was truly unintentional, and I didn't catch until just now, when I was reading this over - it's too funny to change it though!)

He wants to read books then, so I decide to relax with him for a while. This is what I'm here for anyways. We settle in to having some serious fun. He colors for a while, then he gets stickers out and ministers sweetly to all the "boo-boos" Sophie has by putting dinosaur stickers all over her. I get the camera and get some cute pictures of the two of them (isn't it cute?!!) and we're all three having a good time.

That's when Chris walks in - early, by the way, because I thought he was going to look at some houses - and there I happily sit on Izzy's bed, with Sophie in my lap, and both kids covered in dinosaur stickers.

*sigh*