Let me tell you about last night.

11:20 p.m. - Turn off lights to go to bed.

11:21 p.m. - Sophie wakes up to eat. I nurse her and put her back to sleep.

11:55 p.m. - Get ready for bed.

12:00 a.m. - Start reading.

12:40 a.m. - Turn off light.

1:30 a.m. - Izzy runs down hall yelling, "Mama, where my hat? I need my hat, mama!" He is wearing his puppy pj's, but we don't let him sleep in the hat, for fear of choking. I go to look for it (ends up being statically stuck to his pj's), first shutting Sophie's door because she's screaming her head off and I don't want her to wake Chris.

1:40 a.m. - Hat found, tuck Izzy, who refuses to go pee, back in bed and make him promise to not pee the bed.

1:45 a.m. - Nurse Sophie again.

1:55 a.m. - Try to tuck her in, end up having to rock her to sleep.

2:10 a.m. - Finally back in bed.

2:20 a.m. - Izzy runs to Chris's side of the bed saying, "I pee myself, Dada, I pee myself." I tell Chris I'll take care of it, almost as if there was another option. I take Izzy to the bathroom and speak sharply to him, only because he had just refused to go pee when he clearly needed to. He is full of apologies, so I feel bad. His pj's don't seem that wet, but I go and check his bed and it's SOAKED. I tap my chin trying to decide what to do, because I'm really tired at this point. Izzy taps his too, going, "Hmm. Hmmm." I strip his bed and re-make it, with Izzy yelling the whole time, "I help you, Mama!" I tell him that it would help me if he would be quiet so he wouldn't wake the baby up. He says, "Oh, okay," then screams, "SORRY BABY I WAKE YOU UP." I hush him and finally get him tucked back in.

2:50 a.m. - Back in my own bed at last.

2:55 a.m. - Izzy comes to my side of the bed and asks to be rocked. I go back and rock him 100 times and tuck him back in bed. He seems to be very, very sleepy.

3:05 a.m. - Back in my own bed again.

3:21 a.m. - Izzy wakes me up again. This time I go and give him Benadryl, take him back to his room and lay down with him. He eventually falls asleep, as do I. For the next hour I'm in that horrible half sleep where I can't quite wake myself up. Instead I dream the whole time about yelling at Izzy to go to sleep.

4:25 a.m. - I very dizzily drag myself out of Izzy's bed and stumble back to my own. So tired that I don't even hear Chris's alarm five minutes later.

4:50 a.m. - Chris brings me a wailing Sophie. I heard her, but I was REALLY hoping that I was dreaming.

7:45 a.m. - Sophie wakes for the day. So do I.

8:00 a.m. - Izzy wakes for the day.

8:30 a.m. - I contact a lawyer to draw up parental emancipation papers.