Sometimes being a SAHM sucks.

I just now got Sophie in bed after her screaming for an hour and a half. She was pulling her ears and hitting her head with her hands. Clearly, she was in pain. At about midnight she starts saying, "Dada, dada, dada." So I take her in to Chris, who's been asleep for a couple of hours, to see if she will calm down with her dad. Turns out no.

So I ask Chris if he could take tomorrow off to help with Sophie tonight, because I've done it a couple of nights in a row, and I'm sick too. He flips out and starts being a complete jerk. Tells me I've asked him to take two days off already. It honestly took me about 15 minutes to figure out what he meant.

The first time was Sunday, when I jokingly (which he knew) asked him to stay home since I had to show the house at 9 a.m. Even if he had wanted to, I would have told him that was stupid. The second time was Monday afternoon, when he called on his lunch hour and told me that he was missing us. Flippantly, I said, take the afternoon off then. Again, I was joking, because that would have been just stupid. After he would have gone back to the office and got the leave, the quickest he could have left would have been 2:00, which would put him home all of two hours earlier. With the cost of gas, it makes sense for him to be there as many hours as possible.

Tonight I was serious though. Just because I'm the SAHM should not mean I am the only parent, or the sole responsible parent for our children's health. But I am and it SUCKS. I haven't had a full night's rest in about two years, and that's the truth. With Izzy, Chris somehow managed to make it to all of his well baby visits, but he's only gone to a couple of Sophie's. And he's never taken either of them without me. But that's largely because if there is something wrong with my child, I am going to be there if at all possible. Why do dads get a free ride from this responsibility? I'm sure there's at least a few of you reading this who are thinking, well, Chris is a man, and men just don't understand. Bullshit.

Most men are just too freaking lazy to make the effort. Chris knows that he doesn't have to worry about their health because I will. He knows I'll not forget about their medicine. He know he can ignore their cries because I won't. I CAN'T. It rips my heart out to hear them crying.

I've got to head to bed now because even though I'm going to be up all night with Sophie, I have to show the house in the morning too. The thing I miss most about working outside of the home is having a partner to help me with the kids. Financial delinquency isn't the only factor that makes a dad a deadbeat.