This morning started off like any other normal day. I took Izzy to school and as I was helping him get his backpack on I realized that he'd forgotten to grab his show and tell item. Today was "B Day," and he had a special book picked out to bring.
A little backstory for you - a couple of weeks ago he brought me a book of Sophie's, that my parents had given her entitled, "Baby Animals of the Bible." He says, "This book is about God. Do you think I should show it to my preschool?" It's a church preschool. I tell him to that since it's a book and book starts with "b" to wait a couple of weeks.
Flash back to this morning, standing in front of the preschool. I try to talk him into taking another book with him, because we have a couple in the van. "Here," I say handing him a freebie book from Chik-Fil-A, "Take this instead."
"No," he says reasonably, "I need my "God bless America book." That always cracks me up. I try again, handing him one of Sophie's favorite books, "I'm Made of Mama's Milk." I'm a little bit glad he refuses that one.
So I take him inside and tell the teacher that I'm going to run back up the hill and get his book. I get Sophie all loaded back up and when we get home I decide to lock her in the van while I run upstairs, grab the book, and run back down.
I rush over to the back door and something small falls onto my head. My heart jumps, but I have to act all cool in case the neighbors are watching, so I just open the door and walk into the garage.
All nonchalant-like, I reach up and brush my hair. And I hear, "BZZZZZ." I freak.
I run on into the house and into the downstairs bathroom. Frantically, I flip on the light and rush to the sink. I gaze, wild-eyed into the mirror, then my heart stops beating.
There, on TOP OF MY HEAD, is a WASP. Not a bee, which would have been terrifying enough, but a big scary WASP just walking around on my head like he owns me. I SCREAM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I mean SCREAMMMM!!! Blood-curdling, mouth stretched wide, SCREAM.
Panicked, I run back into the hallway in front of the steps. I SCREAM at the top of my lungs again.
Panicked, I run back into the bathroom, arms stretched down by sides, fists clenched, and I look into the mirror, hoping I'm mistaken. I SCREAM again when I see that evil monstrosity atop my hair.
I grab a towel and SCREAM like a banshee as I wave it at my head.
Out of the corner of my eye, I see the reflection of the wasp fly off my head.
Running like a sprinter, I bolt out of the bathroom and slam the door shut.
BUT THE TERROR STILL LURKS WITHIN THESE WALLS.
My next husband is going to be the Orkin man.
4 comments:
You don't need the Orkin man, you probably scared the little wasp to death with your screaming. Micki is about to pee her pants laughing. Opps, she really did! LOL Was Sophia OK when you got back to the van??? Better yet, did Isaac finally get his book?
Yes, Sophie was fine and Izzy got his book. No wasp can keep my from being Uber Mama!!!!!!! LOL
Thats Gods way of telling you to NEVER,NEVER lock your baby inside a van by herself! What if a meteorite had hit the van while you were inside! You scoff, but what are the odds that a wasp would land on your head and stay there for 5 minutes and not sting you! Glad he didn't. Love you.
LMAO!!!!!!!
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