Friday, June 20, 2008

Wonderings and worryings.

I'm chock full of emotions today. I'm excited and nervous about finally getting this little one out of me, but that's normal. I'm terrified that I'm making the wrong decision to try for a VBAC and something will happen to the baby, but heck, that's probably normal too. Getting a little weirder is that I'm afraid something will happen to me and I'll leave a house full of God-awful rambunctious kids without a mom. Truthfully, that one probably comes from my mom, who, in trying to convince me that she's worried about me, has made me worried about me. I hope this insanity isn't truly genetic.

I'm also excited to see what baby girl will look like. Will I finally get a kid who doesn't make me look like the nanny? How about a kid that's not bald-headed? That would be a fun twist. More seriously, I wonder if she'll have Downs. The blood test said yes, but it's full of false positives.

I wonder how I'll cope with the pain this time around. I've read that you're not permitted pain medication with a VBAC, for then you can't feel if your uterus ruptures. OUCH, and ouch. I was mentally prepared to go through natural childbirth, but once you add in the Pitocin, things get a little sketchier. Pitocin contractions are like being in the end stage of labor for hours upon hours. Of course, they won't let me go hours and hours anyhow with the previous c-section scar, so hopefully I can deal. With any luck, breaking my water will send me into labor on my own, and Pitocin can be completely avoided.

I hope Izzy and Sophie behave in the waiting area. My mom and dad, saints that they are, are coming up tonight to keep them here while Chris stays at the hospital with me, and then tomorrow, they plan to stay here at the house until we call them. Or more likely, until my mom can't bear to be that far away (about four miles) any longer. But Crystal is going to be here tonight too (yippee!!), so she'll be a huge help chasing them around tomorrow too. And, of course, the in-laws will be there first thing too, and they'll be a big help as well. Micki has to work tomorrow and won't get there until after 3 or 3:30, and with any luck it will all be over by then. Hopefully the kids will behave, but heck, even if they don't, I won't have to be dealing with them!

My MIL is banking on getting to be in the the room with me during delivery, and I know my mom sure would like to be as well, but I have no idea what this hospital's rules are. Hopefully things will go well, and they can both witness the birth. From a very safe vantage point at the head of my bed, because ain't nobody gonna be peeking at the ol' nether regions that I'm not paying an ungodly amount of money.

I suppose this really will be the last post before I'm a mother of three. *gulp* Hopefully the next post will be full of gushing over my perfect and gorgeous new daughter and the easy and fast labor we went through!

1 comment:

Bridget said...

Lots of prayers being sent your way, for a safe delivery and for a healthy little girl!