Let me start this off by clarifying my last post - Chris isn't sure now that he wants me to quit. He likes our current lifestyle quite a bit, as do I, and he just can't envision me as a stay at home mom. Truth is, I'm not sure I could tough it out either. I just know that my job is getting nuttier and nuttier and it's time to go.
I am now in charge of all of our graphic design, all publications, all writing, as in speeches, letters, letters to the editor, opinion-editorials, etc. I am the media relations department and I do press releases and media contacts. I am our IT person, I'm the webmaster, I do all e-mail and network maintenance for our entire office. And let me add, I have no training in that department. I am a lobbyist, I do all research, I am the editor of our newsletter and our e-mail newsletter, I maintain our e-mail database, I am the Rapid Action Coordinator for our national organization, I teach media-relations courses, I'm involved in several capacities for A Vision Shared, I am the office representative for our main charity, for whom I also do all publications and media relations, thank-you's etc. My actual title is "Director of Research and Publications," but in reality it should read, "Director of Everything Everybody Else Doesn't Want to Do." And this is just the tip of the iceberg of my responsibilities at work. I swear I'm not exaggerating.
Anything that is even vaguely related to communications gets thrown on me - for instance, we have a golf tournament every year. I do all the publications/flyers for it, as my title would indicate. But now I have to keep a list of the tee signs that we have, and I have to coordinate with one of the secretaries on which tee signs we need to pull as people donate money. I also have to order the tee signs. These are clearly secretary duties, but because the signs "communicate" who gave us money, it's now my job. Isn't that ignorant??
Here's another example: one of our affiliates gave us 800 names to add to our e-mail database. This is a basic list that needs to be typed in manually. My new boss, who keeps throwing new assignments on my back on a daily basis, comes up to me Friday and asks if I've come up with a way to get it into the system. First off, this should be up to a secretary. But I tell him I'm just going to put them in when I get a chance. He says, "Perhaps you could stay an extra hour every evening for the next couple of weeks and get them done." I listen to him but I don't respond. In my head I'm thinking: "Are you freaking nuts?? Give up an hour of my precious time every evening for no pay just to get some secretarial work done??" See what he doesn't realize is that I have another job that starts at 5:00 every evening: MOMMY. It's way more important than anything I get paid to do, and he's nuts if he thinks I'm taking away 10 hours from my son that I'll never get back.
But every week I rob Izzy of at least 45 hours of my time, and maybe it's time to stop. But I don't know if I'm more wanting to be with Izzy, or if I'm just sick and tired of my job. Just last week, the new boss tells me that rather than put a folder of news articles and items of interest on his desk every few days, he wants me to do a daily summary of every news article, etc., that I think would interest him, type it up and e-mail it to him each morning. Is it a good idea? Yes. Do I have the time to do this? NO FREAKING WAY! He also tells me that he's arranging to get me involved with some research think-tanks at WVU, says he wants me to focus more on the research part of my title. WHEN? I told him that he and the main boss tell me to do something, and then to them, boom- it's done. But writing and designing stuff takes time.
We organized a huge labor day event this year, which was a blast, and enjoyed by about 50,000 people. It was an incredible community event. We all stayed at a local hotel across from the event, for we knew it was going to be a late night. I'm heading up for the night at about 11:30 p.m., and I run into the new boss. He smiles and I think he's getting ready to join me in pride over such a great day. He says with no preamble at all, "Cindy, start thinking of how we can capitalize on the people and the energy that was here today. I want to thank all of the volunteers somehow, because they worked so hard, yada, yada, yada...." When he finally paused for a breath, I said, "It's 11:30 at night. I'm going to bed, and I'm not going to think about this until tomorrow." I mean, c'mon - work starts in nine hours, and it can't wait until then??
These guys are not that much older than me - they're both in their fifties, and both my dad's age. In fact, they both have children just a few years older than me, so they are quite paternalistic towards me, which is no fun in the workplace. But more than this, the generational difference in workplace attitudes is worlds apart. They want to be at work ALL the time. They both get there very early and stay late. Their families are just used to never seeing them, and that's just the way it is. It's not like that with my family. We crave togetherness, and we both rush home as soon as we can to be together with our little-man. Work is their #1 priority, family is mine. And I work in a very male-dominated field, and in fact, right before he became the new boss, my new boss told me that he felt mothers should stay home and raise their kids like his wife did. I told him I thought there was some merit there, and I really do think there is.
That having been said, some women excel at both work and home. In the right kind of job, I would too, but I can not do everything they want me to do at a high level. I can do it all okay, but then there's not time to excel at anything. I don't want this to spread into my home life too.
Whew! That felt good to get out. So far this pregnancy has been a giant grump fest for me. I can't wait to start feeling good again. Early pregnancy wears you out. You are so deeply tired, queasy, hormonally crazy, and worst of all, you don't show so no one sympathizes. But it is sooo worth it in the end.
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