Getting ready for the plunge.

I walked into work this morning with a heavy heart. I just can not believe that after tomorrow, I will not be a part of this place anymore. Their problems will not be my problems anymore. How do you let go of something that has been a MAJOR part of your life for ten years? I asked Chris not too long ago, how long after he got laid-off was it before he could pass his old workplace and not feel a sense of "ownership." He said it took him about six months, and he'd worked there less than two years. *sigh*

First thing I did this morning was stop in the middle of my office and take a good look around. I can not get it through my head that I won't see this place again after tomorrow. (Bosses have made it clear that this position is being cut entirely now.) I walked over to my desk and noticed how plain my phone looked. I had already torn off the newspaper clipping that I had taped there years ago reading, "A redneck's last words: Hey y'all watch this!" There was a typo in it that I had whited out and corrected.

I glanced up at the file cabinets in front of me and saw the Clinton/Gore '96 sticker that I had put up during that exciting election. Seems like yesterday. I'm going to leave it there, but I took off the Sierra club calendar sticker from my keyboard. It was too personal to stay. I picked up my desk calendar and saw that I had not yet torn off November. The 2nd was circled in bright orange and as I looked at it, I thought, "I still had a job that day."

I'm going to pack up everything I'm taking with me today before I leave. Tomorrow will just be too hard. What's left? Not much. I have a tin of "Liquorice Altoids" and a tube of Liprageous chapstick on my computer stand. Over on my desk, I have a few magazines, a box of tissues, a notebook, and a desk pad. Inside my desk is some food - a pregnant lady gots to have her resources - and my stapler and pair of scissors that I asked if I could take with me. I painted the stapler with pink nail polish years ago, which on top of it's black surface makes it appear to be shiny purple. I was pretty sure no one would want it. My scissors are just great big awesome scissors. I also asked for some design books that I took home a couple of weeks ago when I did the massive clean-out of my office - filled four large boxes plus a couple of bags.

They were happy to let me have the few things I requested, because I'm really not making it too hard on them. Don't get me wrong. I WANT to be a bitch, but I just can't. Not because I respect, or even like, my two bosses, but because I respect the labor movement too much.

When I turned on the computer this morning I signed into my baby board and as I skimmed down the list of messages I saw one titled, "Cindy - I am thinking of you." I opened it and several of the women had left me messages of support for tomorrow. Brought a tear to my eye. Of course, with all the pregnancy hormones, that's not much of a challenge right now. I will not be going through this new journey alone. I have so much support, from this board, from my family, from my friends. Even better, the people who really matter to me all understand that even though I'm excited about the extra time with Izzy, losing this job hurts.

That's why I'm having an Emancipation Christmas party this weekend. I don't have all the plans set yet, but you're all invited. It's time to kick my old life to the curb and jump feet first into my one.

Hey y'all, watch this!