When I was putting Izzy down for his nap today, he laid down and pulled the blanket up to his neck, then ever so gently pulled the blanket up around his blue puppy's neck and the orange Boo-Ba's neck. Then he kissed his puppy on the head.
Then we argued for a while about how, yes, he really did need to take a nap, but that's not really pertinent to this post. What I want to talk about is this: When do we lose that innocence, and why? I think it sucks that I can't carry around a stuffed animal, holding it close and occasionally kissing the top of it's noggin without being thought insane.
But even more than that, I think it sucks that somewhere along the way, the vast majority of men lose that sweetness and vulnerability. It's okay for women to fawn over the preciousness of new life, or to cry over the loss of the same, but we expect men to be tough and emotionless. I cringe when I catch myself saying, "Izzy, big boys don't cry." They don't, but they should.
I want Izzy to feel the power and beauty - the rawness - of deep emotion. And I don't mean just anger or lust. I want him to be swept away by the innocence of a sleeping child's brow. I want him to be brought to tears by the love he feels for his wife and children. I want him to feel true ecstasy when a crisp autumn breeze cools his sun-warmed cheeks.
I want this for Sophie too, of course. What a shame that I assume this is a given for her, and a feat for Izzy. But isn't that the truth in a nutshell? For all the free passes given to men, they are robbed of pure joy by our preconceived notions of manhood. Here's to bucking that stereotype.
2 comments:
You should be a writer! I love reading your blog and wishing I had that kind of writing skill. Izzy is a wonderful, loving little guy. Hopefully, he'll grow up to be the same way.
You are right Cindy. I was thinking about this the other day as well. When is it that our children learn that their emotions are not okay anymore? Why do we do this to them?
Post a Comment