As I was headed to bed tonight, I was worrying over my niece Maddie, who is having her adenoids removed - again - tomorrow. The first time, when she was 2 1/2, didn't take. And, as you all know by now, I'm prone to exaggerated insane worries. As I was taking the darks out of the dryer and then putting the whites in, I was imagining how bad it would feel to lose her. She is such a very special kid, and she'll always hold a special place in both mine and Chris's hearts. I imagined how I would wish I'd hugged her more today when we went to the movies, and how I would wish I'd stroked her soft brown hair again. Oh yeah, I take these fears all the way. I know I'm nuts.
At this point, I'm feeling just terribly melancholy, and I can't remember the exact line of thinking that got me there, but I started thinking about Punkin, our family dog that we bought with my first paycheck when I was 16, and who had to be put to sleep over a year ago because of severe pain due to kidney failure. She was a truly incredible dog that we all remember fondly, often. We called her our little sister, and she was a valued member of our family.
We buried her in a very nice pet cemetary and everyone in the family who could get off work, went to her burial. Mom, dad, my sister Micki, my Aunt Nancy, and me and Chris. Crystal was in Chicago, and Johnny, my sister's husband, had to work. We went and looked at her and she looked so sweet and peaceful, and then we watched them lower her little steel casket in the ground. We felt like we should say something, but we were all very choked up, so we mostly just stood there crying. Seems like Micki brought flowers that we put on top of her grave, and we talked about a few happy memories, but I have already forgotten most of it. My memory is bad to start off with, and luckily, I forget most sad things.
We weren't really sure how to close our little funeral, but we had talked about singing the Punkin-dog song. My sisters and I had made it up over the years, and we sang it to her often. Here's the lyrics, sung to the tune of Rocky Top:
Punkin-dog
you'll always be
a Punkin-dog to me.
Good ol' Punkin-dog,
Punkin-dog Pauley,
Punkin-dog Pauley.
I never claimed we were lyrical geniuses, but we sure loved singing this song to her. It still runs through my mind often. But that day, we just couldn't do it. We wanted to, but none of us could get it out past the giant lumps in our throats.
That's when Chris stepped up and sang it for us, for Punkin.
I sure do love that guy.
1 comment:
Ok Cindy, now you've done it! I've been nervous worrying about our Maddie and now you had to make me think of how sweet it was when Chris sang Punkin's song and now I"m sitting here crying and missing my baby more than ever. She was the best and since she can't be replaced or recarnated, I don't want another dog. It couldn't come close to Punkin!!!
Post a Comment