Can't wait to feel that first kick.

I'm wondering when this big shocker of a pregnancy is going to feel real. I'm willing to bet not until I see that tiny heartbeat on an ultrasound. Or when pukarama begins. *sigh*

In the last three weeks, my mom, my sister, and my mother-in-law have all asked me if I was pregnant. I woke up queasy a few times last week, I've had a few weird eating binges, Izzy ate some pasta with tomato sauce and the smell of garlic on him over the next couple of days killed me, I've been really tired and I've fallen asleep very quickly, I've been peeing a lot, and I've cried over totally not emotionally-charged things I've read. How did I not guess this sooner?

Actually I know how. It's always been in the back of my mind that it was a possibility I'd get pregnant, even though I had to use Clomid to get my first two. So every time I'd be a few days late, I'd start thinking that maybe I was pregnant. But my cycles are crazy irregular, and until this time, I wasn't pregnant, so I just figured I was making too much of a coincidental group of symptoms. This is wild.

When I realized Thursday that I was like two weeks late, I decided to go ahead and take a test the next morning. That ended up being at 4:15 am Friday and I couldn't go back to sleep once I saw that double pink line. I looked at the stick and the first pink line popped up and I was like, oh well, and I started to throw it away when my heart stopped. I pulled the stick back up to my face and stared at it in total disbelief as the other pink line came into view.

In fact, I stood there staring at it for at least two or three minutes. Then I went back to bed and got up three or four more times to look at the stick again. Chris barely opens his eyes before he get in the shower, so when he was done and drying off, he ran back into the bedroom and excitedly said, “Does that stick laying in there with the two pink lines mean what I think it does?” Yep, I said. “Does it mean you’re pregnant??” Yep, I said. “Are you f*&&#ing with me??” Nope, I said. Then he kissed me and told me congratulations. Then I got up and took a second test and was most astonished that it had two pink lines as well.

We decided to go ahead and tell the kids before I took them to school because 1) I have a giant mouth and 2) we’d tell them if something bad happened anyhow, and I wanted them to be the first to know.

We called them over and I said, "Guess what mommy has in her tummy??" Izzy said, “I don’t know, what?" Then a second later he smiled and said, "A baby???”" I said, “Yes!,” and his whole face lit up so sweetly and he immediately put him hand on my stomach. I told him you couldn't feel anything yet because the baby was as tiny as the Smartie candy Sophie was eating (yes, it was 7:30 in the morning). Then I asked Sophie if she had heard what I said, that there was a baby in my tummy, and she said, "Oh!"

Then Izzy said, “Mom, do you know what the baby is saying?” I asked him what, and he reached up and rubbed my stomach again and said, “He says he loves you!” He’s such a sweetheart.

I went to the store after we dropped Izzy off at school, and Sophie took my store list and tucked it under her shirt and said, “See that, mommy? That my baby in my tummy!”

This whole weekend has been surreal. Izzy has been super attentive, hugging and kissing me constantly. He's asked about a million pictures about the baby already and was most disturbed when I showed him a picture on the internet of what a six-week old fetus looks like.

So tomorrow I'll be seven weeks. Seven weeks PREGNANT. UNREAL. Only 33 more to go!