Thursday, January 08, 2009

Why I'll likely be committed before too long.

As I sit typing this, a maniac baby is rolling balls underneath my feet while our cat hungrily meows at me. The cat is hungry because he wants a full bowl at all times, but since we've been keeping MIL's dog, the cat is scared to go down to his litter box after dark. *shakes head sadly* Yep, I have the world's only afraid-of-the-dark cat. Instead, he chooses to poop any of a myriad of weird places. So he does not get fed after dark for the next month or two, or whenever MIL retrieves said dog.

The maniac baby, however, gets fed whenever she wants or else she shrieks nonstop. Actually she's shrieking now too, but in a happy way. She's freaking ecstatic, in fact. See, she fell asleep on the couch a little after ten. (Trust me, I know that's way too late to have her up, but she WILL NOT SLEEP. But that's a very long story for another time, if you're unlucky.) I look over at a snoring Chris and I wake him up and tell him to go on to bed or else she's going to wake up and be hyper and be terrible to get back to sleep. Poor guy's just so sleepy (can you hear the sarcasm there from the mom who's up ALL NIGHT EVERY NIGHT with the maniac baby?) he can't be bothered. So yep, come eleven and she's wide awake.

I wake Chris up again and now that it's 11, he'll go to bed. He takes Suzi after a mini lecture from me. No, not about the whole sleeping thing, although I do get a little stab in about that too, but because he took the kids out to play in the snow for a few minutes tonight, and when he was trying to find their hats and gloves, he threw everything out of the closet into the hallway.

Flash forward to him carrying Suzi to bed and I ask him how he thinks it's okay to get all of that crap out and just leave it there. He says, I kid you not, "I just didn't pick it up." Thank you, yes, I am a saint. Then he bends over to pick it up, with Suzi in his arms, so I tell him I'll go ahead and do it. And yes, I said it nicely too. Seriously!

So off to bed he goes. I start picking things up. About two minutes later he storms out to find a paci, sees me working, kisses my cheek and thanks me. My cold heart starts to thaw.

He takes the paci back to the bedroom and about four minutes later he comes out with Suzi and tells me that she's trying to put herself to sleep by hitting him. I tell him that it's awfully ballsy to bring the baby out to me when 1. I'm cleaning up his mess, 2. The baby is acting that way because he wouldn't get up when I told him to, and 3. I get up only 20 minutes later than him, and I'm up nursing the baby a couple of times during the night, and I'm up with the other two if they get up, but now I have to sit up with the baby who's wide awake so that he doesn't lose any sleep.

He agrees and goes off to bed. I sit here typing this all up and I'm not even angry. I'm barely even irritated. I am, however, borderline insane and THIS IS WHY.


Audra said...

I am so dreading my future sleep deprivation, although I am here at almost 2 am typing this cause the Livie simply couldn't let me live without a bowl of fruity pebbles.

Anonymous said...

Quit your griping, you are just living the wonderful life of a stay at home mom. In other words you are a mother and mothers are expected to lose sleep over their children. They will grow up and then you will miss holding them close at night when they couldn't sleep. I love you for being such a good mother to your little ones.


Mama Luvins said...

Now, Dad, I know you're not stupid, so I'm pretty sure you realized that post was not about the lack of sleep, but rather about how I'm the ONLY parent in this house who is deprived of sleep at all. You got up with all three of your daughters every single time any of us were ever awake in the night - why do you automatically give Chris a free pass? Mom was a SAHM too, and you worked way more hours than Chris, at a far more physically intensive job when we were little. If you could do it, then Chris could, every once in a while, give me the chance to catch a few Zs too.

I love you too, even though you are a raging chauvinist with a guy crush on my husband.

MaMa Norma said...

Come on, Ray, Cindy is right. You were up as much as I was with the girls yet you take up for Chris. Let him take a turn with the kids and let Cindy get some rest. She's so exhausted she can't even carry on a sane conversation right now. GEEZ! Love you Cindy, and Ray too. And I love Chris even though he sleeps way too much for a dad with three little ones.

Anonymous said...

GEEZE! I didn't say a thing about Chris. I only remember that when I got up with the girls they were usually sick. Now that suzi drinks from the bottle it probally wouldn't hurt him to get up with her once in a while. I the only thing she will take at night is a breast that sorta leaves him out.
Love you,Dad

mcnoodle said...

I just LOVE reading your post!!!!